P0: the merge queue is fast and stable — a pull reaches the queue already proven, gates run in minutes, and a bad pull leaves on its own #7615

Measured 2026-10-27 23:40Z–01:13Z:

• 15 merge-queue gates ran, and 11 were red.
• 5 of the reds were one test broken by one pull (#7566), which passed its own check.
• Gate time: p50 562 s, max 849 s.
• Landed: about 20 an hour, with 45 approved pulls waiting.

The owner: "i need this to be faster. much faster. and stabily"

Goal:

• Most batches green (a target of 90% or more).
• Gate time under 4 minutes.
• Landing of 60 or more an hour, held steady.

Children, in parallel: prove before queueing; a sharded gate; automatic quarantine.